3-12-17: Senior Year in the Sonland Part 6: The Soap Opera of Sonland 46060

Keeping the 90210 theme going on this post..Part 5 left off with the first date of TLW and Number 10 during my senior year Christmas Break, so might as well throw start off Part 6 with Ian Ziering as Santa. Kept me amused, anyway. Photo courtesy of Chitown Connections.

Sunday morning in Central Indiana. Took me eight months-and a week off between PhD classes-to get to where I could finally conclude my blog entries about my senior year at Sonland 46060 (aka Noblesville High School). After taking two weeks off when I concluded Part 5 (see the 2-25-17 post with a picture of a Number 10 approved comic genius the late Leslie Neilsen here):

2-25-17: Senior Year in the Sonland Part 5: The Saga of Number 10

…it’s time to wrap this up because I have lots of stuff I still need to write about like good learning experiences (see the oft-mentioned future posts on The Prom Date) and better experiences (not going to undergraduate school in the state of Indiana during a time where I equated Indiana with Alcatraz). So here we go.

Quick recap from where I left off in Part 5 as well as other previous info….

Good parts of senior year: not working a dead-end job (had already done it for the summer), getting better grades, being in student government despite having little more than a fancy job title and the ability to drool over Meredith Prystas so I could stay awake in student government meetings, being on the GTFO countdown to get out of Noblesville (aka Sonland City) with graduation in late May, and most importantly having lost 60 pounds in two years to be down to 140 after tipping the scales at 200 early in my high school career. (With the exceptions of not being a felon, getting my MBA from college number four in 2015 and fraternity related info to be shared on future posts, the latter is probably my biggest accomplishment. Without doing that this post doesn’t get written because quite frankly I probably wouldn’t be alive to do it.). Oh, and in the fall semester it was great to see The Homecoming Queen in senior comp class every morning in third hour. That inspired me to stay awake and get an ‘A’ in there.

Bad parts of senior year: getting stood up for Homecoming (which was the beginning step to me saying ‘well, I think it’s best that I don’t go to college in this state unless I’m considering the priesthood’) and IMO not having the courage to go from wearing Coke bottle glasses to contacts full time. (Thanks to some hard hitting advice from The Prom Date, I took care of that come college time. Wise decision.) Being ignored in the fall by 80-90 percent of my senior classmates in periods one through three didn’t matter as much in part because 1) most of them were asleep at one time or another in said classes 2) if they were girls from my class year then they could have given two s–ts less if I had lost weight or if I had appeared in an episode of Soul Train while 3) in fairness I didn’t make too much effort to talk to people because I just wanted to GTFO of the Sonland.  If the future Mrs. Marc Maloy had not not talked to me for the previous six years of junior Sonland and senior Sonland (grades 6-11), then another year wasn’t going to be too shocking. So occasionally I would get some DER DID YA USE BE FAT stares or questions and that was it.

While all that stuff set the tone for me to count down the days towards getting out of Noblesville, the West Beverly like drama of dealing with Number 10 that spring ensured that I was going to shed no tears on leaving the Hoosier State to pursue my dreams. (Mainly because thanks in part to said drama of dealing with Number 10 I figured that I did not want to throw my life down the drain while getting into some Peyton Place level b—s–t. Plus in fairness I actually wanted to go to a college where I wouldn’t place 5 to 4 odds into running into a conceited girl from the Sonland every day of the week, so things worked out pretty well. Laziness permitting…more on that stuff in future posts). And that is where Part 6 comes in-time to now cut through said s–t and recap my last semester of high school in showing how a friendship went to, well, complete s–t in a few weeks time while I found there would be much better days ahead in what would be an unlikely place for most Sonlanders to concern themselves about since it wasn’t located in a Rust Belt factory town or near Monroe Reservoir– the Bluegrass region of Lexington, Kentucky.

Now time for me to also cut said s–t and talk about said Sonland senior spring after posting the sophomore Sonland photo of Number 10 since he has helped inspire these lengthy last two posts:

Sophomore class photo of the one-and thankfully only-Number 10. Top male athlete of the Sonland (aka Noblesville High School) Class of 1993 whose example of “friendship” would help motivate me to make my college decision of going out of state a successful one. Photo courtesy of classmates.com and the 1991 Noblesville High School Shadow yearbook.

(-Will get classes out of way first before Number 10 related stuff….I had Econ with wrestling coach and Purdue alum Mr. Brian Powers first hour…pre-calc with Mr. Jim May second hour…..psychology and sociology with junior varsity hoops coach and therefore main coach for Number 10 Mr. Gary Christlieb in third and fourth hours….Spanish with Mrs. Janet Balsley and the non-comedy of Number 10 in fifth hour…and lastly yearbook with Mr. Butch Robbins in sixth hour. All one needs to know is that Econ set the tone for the day because I would get to class at 7:43 or 7:44 am just before the 7:45 am bell and all these people in there looked like they ready to be extras in The Walking Dead. With the exception of ‘Earthman’ Steve Ruda asking me on Senior Skip Day-yeah, you’re not shocked I went but hold on for The Prom Date posts for that story-if I had in fact gone to prom, I really don’t remember anyone talking to me in that class for the whole 4 1/2 months. So I went in there, got an ‘A’ and therefore was not among the rumored one out of three Sonland seniors who had to take the course over again in order to graduate. Better yet, I also remember Powers-my former seventh grade football coach- asking if I went to prom because I showed up for said Senior Skip Day, so that meant two people talked to me in that class that year. Two more than expected, but in fairness I have a feeling most of these sons and daughters of Sonland USA were in similar GTFO mode so they weren’t too concerned with socializing with me. So be it.

Oh…Keely Clegg-good friend of the Homecoming Queen and Hot Sonland Chick-was in my psych class, so that made staying awake in psych all the more worthwhile. Unlike my first college psych class that I would take the following year, I got an ‘A’ in there as well. Safe to say I got much worse than an ‘A’ in said college intro psych class. Also a good time to post a photo of Keely because, well, why the f— not?

0312171033
Beautiful blonde pictured is 1991 NHS graduate and soccer star Keely Clegg. Part of the 1990 NHS squad Indiana state runner-up for girls high school soccer, Keely went on to play collegiate soccer as a midfielder for Olivet College in Michigan. I in turn went on to be in a fraternity with dudes nicknamed “Chod”, “POS” and “Half Shot”. Photo courtesy of classmates.com and the 1991 NHS Shadow.

So…those were my senior spring classes. Pure excitement. Now for the drama.)

…as last mentioned in Part 5 I had the ‘honor’ of going on the first date/social function between Number 10 and Tara Lynn Walczak (hence referenced as TLW for the rest of said post) after being said go between on setting said WTF event up. It was right before Christmas…..and Christmas included Number 10 calling my household to note he got a new ride for the holidays (which I already knew about from Cliff and Mrs. Cliff and kept as a secret) while I in turn noted I did not. (I got a new pair of Adidas shoes instead.)  And apparently Number 10 and TLW were not repulsed from each other. In fact far from it. So my 1991 began with wrapping up finals by mid-January…keeping stats with Young Adams and Air Bowman for the Sonland basketball teams…..seeing said Number 10 be the top player on a JV team that would end up with a 17-3 season record while not seeing the floor for said varsity since he was behind local media favorite and point guard Brady ‘Boo’ Harvey (the on-again off-again beau of previously mentioned Meredith Prystas who was also previously referenced in a comedy story where me and Young Adams drove his inebriated self to a late-night visit when said couple was apparently on the off-again stage), local legend Gary Duvall II, current Notre Dame cross country coach Matt Sparks (son of Big Jim Sparks)  and one of Duvall’s main men Young Ryan White in the Noblesville Millers guard rotation. In other words despite being the JV team’s leading scorer and the only sophomore on the varsity, Number 10 (who by wearing Harvey’s number 22 when playing JV would get compared more often than not to the future DePauw University letter winner) was going to have to wait his turn in rivaling Catherine Purdy’s main son Scott Shepherd of Carmel as being a Hamilton County sophomore basketball star. So it was a common routine to see Number 10 averaging double digits in a Sonland JV victory before jogging to the locker room during the fourth quarter so dude could change from Number 22 to Number 10 for riding the pine on varsity.  As the Tony Etchison led varsity Millers would compile a 16-8 record in winning their third consecutive sectional championship, safe to say Number 10 was going to have to either see the bubonic plague or wait for the 1991-92 season to be a varsity contributor. (For those who care, dude would be a starter that next year…team failed to win sectional….and dude was out of the program and apparently transferred to another school. So no Nike contract for dude. )

 

It was also a common routine to see the individual that Number 10 was compared to most in the program-the before referenced Harvey-look me up after games to argue about how many assists he had been credited for or other assorted mumbo jumbo. After one said argument I simply wondered if the increasing visible bad traits and ego of that Harvey (who one time took out whatever frustration he had in the pecking order of Sonland stardom behind Etchison by drawing a dirty comic showing his displeasure in being counted on as the county’s leading assist man while Etchison would average 20 points per game in becoming Noblesville High School’s all-time leading scorer before future Indiana University star and Mr. Basketball Tom Coverdale broke his record a few years later) would end up becoming a common trait of Number 10. Since Number 10 had already begun to answer that question by making fun of my family, friends not named Number 10 (particularly Young Adams) and home….well actually that question had already been answered. While it was a common routine for me to make excuses for that s–t early in 1991, as referenced shortly the excuses wore as thin as my then after weight loss 30 inch waist jeans. Dude was on the way to becoming a full-fledged (rhymes with sock).

There was also another common routine developing. That was the budding romance between Number 10 and TLW….and yours truly being asked to either be sidekick or mediator of sorts when there was drama between said two.

Off the court yours truly ended up getting some phone calls from TLW if there were arguments/lack of commitment/lack of intelligent comments made by Number 10 that an eight year old with a Ritalin addiction would not make to a girl two years his elder who ‘liked’ him. Early on in January and February this meant on some weeknights and most weekends I would be expected to roam over to TLW’s home to sit/watch TV and play Screech to Number 10’s Zach Morris and TLW’s Kelly Kapowski.  Which gives me a good time to take a break to post this picture:

From our good friends of Saved By The Bell, our comparative pic of TLW, yours truly and Number 10 circa spring 1991. I dressed better than Screech but admit we similar on the bad haircuts. Fun fact: since Number 10 called me “Son” that meant that I called TLW “Mommykins”…and even put that in my Sonland Senior Will. Thankfully no one really gave a s–t about what I wrote in said Senior Will, so forget I said that. Photo courtesy of Saved by the Bell…Reviewed!

While I eventually would get bored of this and the increasing insults of Number 10 (stay tuned for what happens) early on it meant either renting movies that surprisingly were not The Naked Gun or Coming to America (because eventually a high school senior woman mature enough to rock most college campuses won’t put up with that s–t from dude two years younger than her if dude wants to do more than squat on the couch) or hitting Castleton to go the mall and see new releases. In turn I ended up seeing a lot of Dan Aykroyd movies….or at least two which were two more than I wanted to at the time since his box office appeal rivaled Indiana Pacers playoff success back in the early 90’s. Two of said movies are pictured below to illustrate said point:

The forgettable (for me at least) 1990 movie Loose Cannons with Aykroyd and Gene Hackman. I remember Hackman rocking the Washington Redskins jacket while being bored to death as it was a comedy film with no comedy. If you can choose between watching this and headbutting an oncoming train, choose the train.

and…….

The 1991 movie Nothing But Trouble seen at Castleton with Number 10 and TLW. Demi Moore looked good. Then again, it’s Demi Moore. Otherwise the equal of throwing six bucks into a furnace.

For your side note, the second movie was the film debut of one Tupac Shukar who at the time was a background dancer for then hip hop icons Digital Underground. They appeared in the movie, and our man 2Pac rocked the Yankees swag while appearing with his man Shock G:

That’s the highlight of the second movie unless you can stand two hours of bad cinema to watch 10-15 minutes of early 90’s Demi Moore. Just take my word for it.

So if I remember these as HIGHLIGHTS of hanging out with the now Dynamic Duo in the making, you can tell that I was generally bored enough to take up needlepoint or asking myself WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS as I would put up with bad Number 10 comedy and worse Number 10 insults about me and Young Adams (Young Adams didn’t have to be there for the insults to take place, so Number 10’s Humanitarian of the Year status continued to be certified). While Young Adams may not have endeared himself to the matter when on a rare occasion he was hanging out over there once and mentioned that he shared a fondness for the music of the Grease soundtrack with TLW, nonetheless this trend of Number 10’s ego increasing (which got bigger as he found he’d be the only sophomore to play on the varsity baseball team) did not help matters. Nor did the one time that Number 10 decided he and TLW were going to grace their presence by deciding they were going to visit my house one night. I had no problem with it. Neither did the family. Yet the Number 10/TLW combo apparently did as they went straight to my room, did not acknowledge my family, listened to an LL Cool J tape while Number 10 tried to show his pimp game sitting on my bed with TLW, and then rolled out without acknowledging said family. Considering dude insulted my family, house, friends, ride, upbringing, etc……let’s just say that did not help matters. It was more than a common routine; it was a regular everyday occurrence.

Sophomore class photo of Young Adams rocking the Keenan Ivory Wayans approved attire from the heyday of FOX’s “In Living Color.” Coincidentally Young Adams also did a great Fire Marshall Bill impression from said Wayans family spectacle. Photo courtesy of classmates.com and the 1991 NHS Shadow. 

As for on the court….during the varsity games of calendar year 1991 Young Adams and I would be in the press box keeping stats and notice another common trend: TLW (who had to sit on the bench as a manager) and Number 10 (sitting there warming the bench) would either try to not sit by each other and if they didn’t succeed then Number 10 would outright ignore/twitch/act uncomfortable in an OOH DER SHE GOT UM COOTIES line of approach. Because we would often hear about non-commitment or other drama from both the male and female voices of the Number 10/TLW combo, Young Adams correctly noted that both needed to s–t or get off the pot. As a dude who talked to both on the phone or wrote notes or mediated on said deal (one time Number 10 quoted me in writing TLW saying the two of them needed to spend more ‘quality’ time with each other; I know because I read the damn note word for word) then I seconded that emotion like Motown men Smokey Robinson and the Miracles.  So after a couple of months of this (coincidentally around the time hoops season ended with the sectional win and subsequent regional loss in March), eventually Number 10 and TLW settled down..and you can fill in the blanks on what happened next. (To recall a quote I would later use when discussing adult life with lifelong crush Keri Caswell before Caswell would eventually have kid number two with dude she was on-again off-again with, “You’re not going to play Yahtzee.”) Good for Number 10 not having to deal with the birds and the bees; bad for anyone dealing with dude’s ego as he then became a full-fledged (rhymes with sock).

While I had no issue spending less time with Number 10 (I wasn’t planning on dealing with dude except for Spanish class since he went straight from warming the varsity hoops bench to warming the varsity baseball bench) I did have an issue with his insults. He became a (rhymes with dock) to anyone and everyone with the exception of some that he played baseball with. If dude called he would discuss the greatness of TLW and his baseball cohorts (ME GO PLAY CARDS with a “Good for you, Number 10, good for you” was common) before insulting my family and Young Adams and anyone who dared not play baseball or be named Walczak or look like a postal worker from a Boston based sitcom starring Ted Danson.  While I in turn found other things to do on weekends that I was not being insulted by Number 10 (usually consisting of me, Young Adams, his man MC Burkett, Burkett’s comrade DJ Layton and the soon-to-be good friend That Son Shields hitting the movies or the mall) I also found that the less I talked to Number 10, the better. (Usually from my perspective TLW didn’t exactly try to put a stop to any of Number 10’s insults, plus she enjoyed making fun of Young Adams. Hence IMO I knew I had two people to go if I wanted someone to pull the plug on me when it was time to take me off life suppott.) And I also found his communication skills were lacking; when I was off for an entire week of school on a long planned (like several months because I did fundraisers in my spare time) school trip to our nation’s capital with Big Jim Sparks and the DC Club, IIRC Number 10 called the house to wonder what had happened since I had not missed ANY school before that time. Quite frankly (TM) it turned out to be a pretty good week because, well, there was no Number 10 related b—s— or drama to deal with. During said DC trip good friend and fellow class of ’91 man Brian Allen noted the change in my demeanor during said trip while also acknowledging the same about the Dynamic Duo’s attitudes. As Allen was a friend of mine when I was both 200 pounds as well as 140 pounds, I knew dude was shooting straight. Allen also joined me in calling Big Jim “Jim” during said trip; during a semester when I rarely smiled I smiled often. Coincidence, I think not.

Once I returned from said DC trip, I generally found that TLW (who again was in my 4th hour sociology class) usually did not talk to me unless there was an issue with Number 10…and that was fine with me as she sat on the other side of the room and I remembered that I hadn’t talked to her for six years prior so life would continue on. I also found that I was more than likely going to tell Number 10 to STFU or ignore him altogether when he decided to do his daily insulting of my family/other friends/life/existence. (This led to one time as previously noted when Pat Kastner looked at him and said ‘Why in the f— should he talk to you? All you do is make fun of him.’ Number 10 responded with an insult that he probably couldn’t have spelled, but I’ll assume that by then TLW was assisting with the homework as the requests to write comps were fewer and far between towards the end of that school year.) And in turn I counted down towards spring break (in which I visited two schools-St. Joseph’s College in Rensselear and Transylvania University in Lexington, KY-and one can already figure from before which one I picked) …my 18th birthday…and finally graduating in May while then being able to GTFO of the Sonland once and for all.

So of course it would be on my birthday weekend when I finally said ‘enough’ and stood up to said Number 10 and his b—s–t. I also basically set the tone towards ending a friendship in main part (says I, at least) due to no longer putting up with verbal abuse and put downs because there was not a BMW in my parents’ driveway nor was I having relations with a girl two years my elder. (And considering what you’ve read about me assisting in setting dude up in getting his initial action, remember that I’ve been hearing this #!$%% for quite a long while.

April 1991. My birthday was on a Sunday. My trend of the last few weeks had been hearing Number 10 (often behind my back) insulting my family’s house by calling it a shoebox. (Remember I wrote earlier that I got into fights over the size of my house back then. In an era with one out of six hungry and poverty not exactly uncommon in North America, keep in mind that is stupid s–t to say now just as it was then.) Acting like he was doing me a favor, Number 10 requested that I go out to TLW’s house to get my birthday ‘gift’ from them before they were going to do whatever they were going to that evening (which was stay at TLW’s and assumingly not play Yahtzee, Monopoly or any games made by Parker Brothers). Perhaps sensing that there was going to be an incident or to get out of the house (or more likely both), Young Adams sailed with me in the 1977 Buick to the Sherwood Schwartz inspired bungalow that the media calls West Harbour in Sonland City. It’s around 5 or 6 pm, still daylight. Me and Young Adams meet the Dynamic Duo in TLW’s front yard. Number 10 has a look on his face like he just found that he could eat a jar of marbles and not go to the hospital. TLW is TLW. For my 18th birthday I get a card that has a shoebox reference on it. Number 10 openly makes fun of me. TLW is TLW. After wondering how I could ever call this person a friend at one time or another in my life, I simply wait a minute, look at Young Adams and say “Let’s go Adams.” (Young Adams had already been insulted by these people to begin with as at the time, well, I’ll be nice and stop this sentence.) Young Adams sees I am unhappy. I simply do not say much. After all I am more than unhappy; I am !$$%^! pissed off.

Now if Aaron Spelling was at the controls we’d have a teen pregnancy or me looking for a few needles after ending up on a bender with Steve Sanders and Dylan McKay in West Hollywood. Instead we simply go to Young Adams’ house (we were going to hit the mall/hit the movies/go to Pizza Hut/cruise) and Young Adams and I speak. He does most of the speaking. I am still pissed beyond words. It is now nightfall. I decide to be simple and to the point as, well, I was having enough of being treated like s–t.

All we did was simply sail back out to said TLW location, with me leaving the car running and Young Adams asking what I was going to do. Said I: “Watch.” I simply took said gag gift/insult card, walked up to the new ride of Number 10, may or may not have spit/ripped said card up, yelled out a similar statement to what Catherine Purdy had told me to do over the phone back in the fall (read: go f— yourself) and then sailed off with Young Adams. IIRC the Dynamic Duo watched yet did nothing. I in turn did not cut a promo like a coked up Macho Man Randy Savage circa 1987; instead I decided that was the last time I was going to talk or deal with Number 10 or TLW (TLW claimed they spent an hour trying to figure out what card to buy me, so at the time I no longer wanted to deal with her either). Young Adams was impressed that I had gone back out there to begin with; he was more impressed that I basically decided to give back said card/gift because it was the equal of NOT HAVING THIS S— BRO SO F— OFF. That’s when I DID cut my promo and simply said “I don’t give a flying f— if I EVER talk to them again. F— this s—.’

So me and Young Adams, yes, cruised, went to the mall, and ended up at Pizza Hut that night. I officially turned 18 by sailing said Buick in the streets of Sonland City. Since it wasn’t going to be with a paid hooker from Vegas, so be it.

The next day-my birthday-was a Sunday. If you’ve read this you’re not surprised that I was having nothing to do with Number 10, TLW or anyone related to them. You’re also not surprised that my father took me and Young Adams to an Indiana Pacers game that afternoon. Nor are you surprised that I’m going to paste the link to said game here:

http://www.basketball-reference.com/boxscores/199104140IND.html

The Pacers won that day to keep their playoff hopes alive as they would soon get do the job to Boston in the first round of said NBA playoffs. Young Adams being Young Adams, we of course ran down to the concourse by the court and walked past none other than future Hall of Famer and 1990s icon Dennis Rodman in the Market Square Arena tunnel by the locker room. I’ll look to post that ticket stub when my well past 18th birthday comes in later weeks. In the meantime, no Number 10, no issues.

Apparently Number 10 tried to call later that evening. I let the family know there would be no calls from Number 10. I had told Young Adams that I was not planning on speaking to him again. And for the next few days I kept that promise.

The next day-Monday-school was back in session in the Sonland. While it’s been established most of my senior peers that were in my classes didn’t really give a s–t if I breathed or not and therefore I didn’t talk to most of them…….I was more surly and quiet than usual. With the exception of Nancy Boosel in yearbook and the before mentioned Pat Kastner in Spanish (more on that in a moment) I don’t remember speaking to anyone for 2-3 days….and that included TLW as I simply would not look at her or speak to her in 4th hour sociology. Since my birthday had been the day before , of course my Spanish class sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to me in Spanish…and Number 10 kept yelling and trying to talk to me while I had none of it and only talked to Kastner. Same went for Tuesday. On Wednesday someone asked me in said sociology class if I was okay as I had basically scowled for three straight days. I noted there were some issues with ‘friends’. Not like I’m King S–t or anything but I then looked across the room at TLW to cap off my answer and said (you knew this was coming) “With friends like that, then who the f— needs enemies?” The message had been given.

I continued to not talk to said couple on Thursday. I know that for a fact because at the end of the school day I walked right by said couple-who were holding hands during a stroll in the orange carpeted foreign language hallways-and simply ignored them without acknowledging them. I wanted no part of them. Period. And college was looking more appealing by the minute. Then again so was giving myself a lobotomy then dealing with them.

I had kept my word to Young Adams for the majority of a school week. I was planning to make that a full school week until a phone call that evening.

The call was from TLW.

No introduction as to her credit she went straight to her questioning. “Are you mad at me?” she asked in a Bette Davis approved voice. (Best comparison I can make as it sure as #!$% didn’t sound like, well, Kelly Kapowski.)

My reply: “Not necessarily you. However your boyfriend isn’t on my Christmas card list.” (Ironic since the card deal was what p–sed me off the most.)

I let TLW know that I could care less if Number 10 got lost in the jungles of Uganda and basically her getting said card with him made me associate her with said Number 10. I again was told that the duo spent over an hour trying to find a card for me. (That obviously went well. A flaming bag of cat s–t would have been better.) I also agreed to a truce of sorts (get ready because this will be a trend): I was to meet TLW at none other than Pizza Hut on Saturday afternoon to discuss said situation. All I needed was for Pizza Hut to be renamed the Peach Pit and we would have had our next 90210 episode in the wings. Out of curiousity, comedy or both I agreed to said meeting. Better her than Number 10. At least TLW would have been able to find the place without needing a map and compass.

Incidentally, that next day-Friday-at school-I finally acknowledge Number 10 at the end of said Spanish class after he yelled my name a few dozen times. I simply said “this has not been a good week.” Not much more was said.

So…Saturday. Around noon or so, yours truly sails the 1977 Buick to Pizza Hut. I’m rocking the Nike windbreaker that I posted before (the one I wore to the Young MC concert that I went to with the Homecoming Queen.) Words and advice from said HQ were in the back of my mind as I roamed onto Westfield Road. As a result I was prepared for our next Aaron Spelling approved scene to roll, only without cameras.

I walk in to a sparsely crowded Hut and see TLW sitting by herself. The persona, tone and facial expressions used were, well, like Bette Davis in that Hotel show from the early 80s…….

This 1984 photo of the late Academy Award winning actress Bette Davis reminded me of TLW’s presence at I would later call the Cradlerobber Summit in April 1991. Not your usual Pizza Hut visit. Photo courtesy of Flickriver.

Long story short-I pull up a chair, sit it in backwards and listen to TLW speak 90 percent of the time. Main things I get from the meeting-besides TLW reminding me of a 77 year old actress-is that I am to play nice with her main squeeze Number 10….and that it apparently was still okay for her to rip on Young Adams as she had a few choice words about him. Considering that 1) Young Adams was my friend since growing up three houses down from each other iwhile 2) unlike TLW and Number 10, yours truly and Young Adams grew up in said Sonland City, were from families long based from Sonland City and therefore 3) really didn’t need to be dictated about social standing SINCE THIS WAS F—ING NOBLESVILLE INDIANA IN 1991….that was probably not the wisest thing to do. So I left said Hut simply saying to myself “This happened” while awaiting the next round of insults or chicanery. Hence I would not be surprised if I was going to get a cameo by Brenda or Brandon Walsh before the month was over….though as soon to be shown, Kelly Taylor would have been the personal preferred choice.

Better yet, since said Taylor made me think about The Prom Date, here’s said photo for thought:

This random photo of 90210’s Jennie Garth reminded me of The Prom Date and The Prom Dress. Also made me smile after watching bad basketball teams lose this weekend. Hence I posted it. Photo courtesy of Pinterest.

Needless to say, you would have had a better chance of President Trump complimenting the work of The New York Times than expecting Number 10 to learn his lesson about being a c–k and making fun of his friends. So a few days later in what would be my third to last appearance out at Number 10’s home of Cliff and Mrs. Cliff, Number 10-in full front of TLW-of course not only insulted my family and Young Adams but also my toughness. We ended up for some reason wrestling each other….and while I was surely not 1989 Mike Tyson I responded to Number 10’s b—s–t by punching him in the face. Number 10 was shocked, backed off and looked at me in the YOU NO SUPPOSED DO THAT ME NUMBER 10 WITH SENIOR GIRLFRIEND expression. TLW had a blank facial expression with an open mouth that resembled what Mrs. Cliff and the younger brother of Number 10 would sport on occasion (which made sense as she was now spending more time out there…including IIRC some overnights as Number 10 had switched weekend visitors. In fairness, better he make advances on her if he needed someone to play doctor with.) I simply smiled as the message again had been given. Coincidence or not, Number 10 tried no more physical s–t nor said much more to me on a face to face basis. (He’d do a good job in saying stuff behind my back, but we’re not surprised about that. After all, no one’s perfect. Better yet, read on to what happens next.)

Needless to say, things got worse. Quite frankly I was ready for confrontation and I was ready to verbally go off on people if I heard rumors or insults about me (see my original August 2016 post about dealing with The Eight Sons on this). This in turn led to a confrontation with me and Cliff over the s–t Number 10 was pulling and my refusal to put up with said s–t. …and in turn led to another Saturday summit (see the trend?) that took place on May 4, 1991….which I remembered because it was a Saturday that was not only my father’s 50th birthday but was a week before meeting up with, yes, The Prom Date. (For your added 90210 style comedy, I was supposed to be DOUBLE DATING with Number 10 and TLW to this prom. Keep that in mind with all you may have read, because obviously I had a feeling this prom thing was not going to happen as planned and therefore safe to say I was ready for other plans come prom time…..like no prom at all. More info to come in future posts as that played into how everything went during prom weekend.) While there were issues with other individuals that were my friends whom Number 10 had regularly insulted because apparently there just wasn’t enough oxygen getting to the brain for him to comprehend that he wasn’t exactly making friends with his behavior, our man Cliff decided to ring me at home that morning to invite me out to the Cliff Compound. I may never be confused with Clint Eastwood but I had no trouble accepting the invite because I also didn’t expect to speak to anyone related to Number 10, Cliff, TLW or TLW’s Buffalo Bills after this. I no longer gave two s—s about anything and was tired of anything that had to do with the Sonland….and as far as I was concerned The Man Called Cliff had drawn the lines in the sand.

There as Number 10 and TLW…..and there was everyone else who was to bow down to them. Since Cliff IMO apparently viewed TLW as the wife-in-training of Number 10 (including overnight stays to do more than play Nintendo), then TLW was the Daughter of the Industry and the new icon in making. They were above me and Young Adams. ‘No they’re not you mailman looking m—-f—–‘ I thought to myself as I remember this same family had insulted mine for way too long. Hence I was prepared for anything.

To be quick and quit the babble…

……I sail the Buick out there. I am p–sed because I am ready for anything since I trusted Number 10 as far as my then 140 pound scrawny a– could throw an elephant. Of course TLW answers the door. Of course I simply said “WHERE’S CLIFF?” as I was directed to the family room. Cliff called me by my first name. No Number 10. No Mrs. Cliff. TLW-who did not say another word to me-stayed in the background. Cliff and I have a frosty discussion with the same references that I am now a piece of s–t for standing up to Number 10. I simply said (paraphrasing)  ‘your son is not my friend, I’m tired of him insulting my family and my friends, and if you want I’ll plan on never speaking to you, your son or your family again.’ I also noted that my issues were with his son, who was nowhere to be found. (You’ll find out where he was shortly.)

For comedy, Cliff asked “What about prom?” My answer: “What about it?” (This made me laugh because both then and now it was one of my best lines.) After Cliff offered that poor white trash like myself should not be going to prom in a 1977 Buick (more on that when discussing The Prom Date in full) I simply responded that I’d rather take a #$!$$! Greyhound bus then be in the same car with his boy Number 10. The main points: I was tired of being treated like s–t, did not want to deal with the Golden Couple and when it came to not setting foot in the Cliff Compound or dealing with said Golden Couple I had deadpanned (paraphrasing) “That can be arranged.”

As me and Cliff were in the midst of our verbal jousting, all of a sudden Mrs. Cliff shows up in the area…and walking a few paces behind her with his head staring down at the floor with puppy dog eyes looking like someone had just told him that TLW had given him a permanent case of the clap (or that Santa Claus did not exist as it was a similar look) was the Son of Sons, the World’s Greatest Athlete, He Who Did No Wrong…yep, good ol’ Number 10.

Number 10 never spoke. I also never had any respect for Number 10 after that moment.

As Mrs. Cliff did the usual HE JUST JOSHIN’ HE NO MEAN TO CALL YOU WHITE TRASH YOUNG ADAMS IS BAD BAD BAD spiel, I simply wondered why in the blue hell I had decided to drive out to this place on Labor Day weekend to assist this so-called piece of humanity with his homework and told Mrs. Cliff that I disagreed and would prefer to hear it from Number 10 himself. Since dude never spoke, I never heard it from him. After hearing more insults about Young Adams, I also for once in my life made damn sure to utter “Adams isn’t here to defend himself.” (Then again, my take is that wasn’t in the game plan.) But Number 10’s imitation of the penguin that used to appear on those old Bugs Bunny cartoons and cry with tears turning into ice cubes was enough to show me that as far as I was concerned, I had won by standing up to him and not backing down from a one on four situation. It also ensured me in knowing what I call the RULE OF THE SONLAND: it’s okay for a bully to insult or bully someone, but it’s NOT okay for that someone to stand up for themselves and return the favor. I already knew it when dealing with The Eight Sons as I lost my weight and gained some self-respect; now that self-respect was back after dealing with Number 10. I may not have gone through the proper storybook measures to do it, but I did it.

And yes, here’s a photo of said penguin:

The look Number 10 had on his kisser when standing behind Mrs. Cliff at the Cliff Summit. Even with that I still like that cartoon penguin. Number 10? No comment. Photo courtesy of Pinterest

I also now had all the incentive I needed to succeed outside of the Sonland. Just writing these last 7,000 words proves that in my view I was able to do that. It also proves that I could be the instigator of a good filibuster on the Senate floor down the road..or that I’m just pretty damn long winded.

For your comedy of wrapping this up…..the Cliff Summit ended with two things happening (the first being a prelude to what I’d be dealing with at Transylvania four years later come graduation time):

-the first was in essence a gentleman’s agreement between myself and Cliff (remember, Number 10 never spoke as he hid…er, stood behind his mother) in which I was not going to f— Number 10’s prom up. Apparently I was still going to be double dating at this prom with him, TLW and The Prom Date. Then again, perhaps it was best so someone could give Number 10 directions as he once got lost driving around I-465 looking for downtown one Sunday when I rode with him and his future varsity backcourt mate Brad Coverdale.  Since Number 10 quit insulting me to my face after that (actually, he didn’t speak to me much besides small talk in that Spanish class) that was probably the main reason I was needed for the evening anyway. And since dude got lost on the way to Kings Island prom weekend, I think that kind of confirmed it.

-the other was an order or declaration of sorts from Cliff that I remember to this day: “Stay away from Adams. He’s nothing but trouble.” I told Cliff (paraphrasing) that I’d give it the consideration it deserved. And since Young Adams already knew about the Cliff Summit because I had called him before I went out to the Cliff Compound (IIRC he was impressed that I was going out there by myself to confront them) then of course you’re not surprised that later that evening I went straight over to Young Adams’s crib and gave him the rundown…complete with final Cliff quote. Since Cliff was supposedly friends with Young Adams’s father AND (according to Young Adams) said Young Adams was one of Number 10’s very first friends when Number 10 moved to the Sonland schools without knowing anyone else…..all the more reason that you should also not be surprised to read that I decided to never set foot in Number 10’s house again once May 11, 1991 (i.e. Prom Night with The Prom Date) concluded.

I’m not the best at keeping my word on things, but I did keep my word on that. (Also helps that the Cliff Compound has been replaced by a subdivision so it no longer exists).

So when I do discuss senior prom on the next main post, I’ll admit that I went out to Cliffland that next Saturday with The Prom Date (Number 10 wanted me to drive out there so he in turn could drive all of us to prom and obviously avoid seeing my family) that I knew it was the end of an era. I also knew that I could handle myself if there was an issue that evening but the main thing was to make it through said evening and just be happy I was going to prom in the first place….while also knowing that I had stood up for myself, friends and family in the process. It was a good lesson to learn with college on the horizon because there would be some times where I would have to stand up for myself in good old Lexington as well. Doing so in a place like the Sonland-Noblesville High School-while dealing with Number 10 was damn good practice.

Oh, to conclude things…..later that month after prom, this happened:

Photo from the 1991 Noblesville High School graduation, aka GTFO of The Sonland. Photo courtesy of the author’s personal collection.

I finally did get out of the Sonland. Mission accomplished.  FINALLY.

Thanks to any and all who put up with my ramblings as I summarize with this: bullying should not be tolerated. Nor should rudeness. I dealt with both in school. I feel I prove that I could overcome it. And with that being said I give the same message to Number 10, TLW and anyone else out there that I gave to the Eight Sons back when I wrote about their petty b—s— and insults last August. Better yet, here’s the message in full:

“You may have families now. You may have children now. If so, congrats and good for you. But as I type this very sentence with God as my witness, I have this to say to you: I hope and pray that your children never, EVER treat any man, woman or living creature the way you individuals treated me back during those first two years of high school. I was lucky enough to overcome it and make something of myself. But not everyone may be as fortunate as I was or be blessed like I was to get the job done and overcome your ridicule. Think about that. Better yet, pray your children aren’t getting the s–t from others that you Eight Sons gave to me.”

Switch Eight Sons for Number 10 (and to a smaller extent for her words on Young Adams, TLW) along with “first two years” to “last year” of the Sonland and we’re set.

As for Number 10…..if you want comedy, look at dude’s current LinkedIn page. Plus as a thank you to those who actually plowed through what is now 8,000 words of me recapping what inspired me to go have a good college career outside of the Noblesville, Indiana area, here’s your current photo of Number 10 from said LinkedIn page:

Number 10 today. According to LinkedIn he once “..founded all facets of business creation” in whatever the f— he was doing before becoming an assistant sales manager. My only take-if he came up with that phrase all by himself, then I’m singing lead for the Rolling Stones.  Photo courtesy of LinkedIn

Now off the soapbox again. Next time there’s a Prom Date to discuss. And that alone should be some fine much needed comedy in itself.

Best wishes and thanks to all who may read this or anything else on the Fitzthoughtsblog.

Jeff

@fitzthoughts

fitzthoughtsblog.wordpress.com

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s